So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
