its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
