I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
