I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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