yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
