I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
