I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
