he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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