If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
