You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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