oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
