He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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