Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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