I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
