Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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