Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish there were birth control emojis
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
