Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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