What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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