I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
