What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
