The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every concussion has its silver lining
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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