Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
