I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize