FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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