All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
