Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
