my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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