"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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