Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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