guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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