Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
