Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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