Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
