the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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