You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
