i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
