I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
