After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
