eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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