He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
