How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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