I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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