Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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