so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
