that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
