yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
