Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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