I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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