He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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