I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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