Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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