youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
