i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
