Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Operation Purity has been aborted
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I had to cum in my sink.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
