She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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