I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize