Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
