why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
