I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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